We Need a Name for the Imaginary Planet Simulated by Climate Models for the IPCC

I recently ran across an article by Chelsea Harvey for BusinessInsider. It was the title that grabbed my attention:  This Map Shows How Climate Change Will Screw The Whole World.  Not just parts of the world, the “Whole World”.  Wow.  Interest piqued, I discovered she was referring to Figure 2.4 from the IPCC’s Climate Change 2014 Synthesis Report (longer report), shown below. It appears to be the same as Figure SPM.8 from the 2014 Synthesis Report Summary for Policymakers.  The author described the map of future risks as a “handy chart”. I love handy charts.

IPCC SYR Full Figure 2.4

The map resembles the planet Earth, where most of us reside.  The continents are in the right places, and so are the oceans.  But we know that’s not the Earth.  The risks illustrated are based on climate models, and we know that climate models used by the IPCC for their reports are not based on Earth’s actual climate, as it has existed in the past, or as it exists now.  The maps output by climate models may resemble our Earth, but they’re fantasy maps of a fantasy world.  They create nothing more than an illusion…an illusion that is intended to make it look like bad things will happen in the future if we all do not agree to reduce our carbon footprints.

We need a name for the imaginary planet simulated by climate models—a planet that looks like Earth, but is not Earth. I’ll propose the climate-modeled planet be called TurnsToCrap.  No matter how the modelers present the product of their endeavors, they show the planet TurnsToCrap.

 

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About Bob Tisdale

Research interest: the long-term aftereffects of El Niño and La Nina events on global sea surface temperature and ocean heat content. Author of the ebook Who Turned on the Heat? and regular contributor at WattsUpWithThat.
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14 Responses to We Need a Name for the Imaginary Planet Simulated by Climate Models for the IPCC

  1. wernerkohl says:

    Hi Bob,
    maybe we could name it AGWard (coming from “awkward”)?

  2. vuurklip says:

    Climutopia, Myopia, Warmuz

  3. craigm350 says:

    Vogon springs to mind as the map was created by bureaucrats hell bent on destroying earth

    They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous. They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders – signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry at you.*

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vogon

    * IPCC haiku!!!

    http://mobile.sightline.org/2013/12/16/the-entire-ipcc-report-in-19-illustrated-haiku/

  4. earwig42 says:

    Hilarious! Except for the fact that I was drinking coffee. Now I need a new keyboard…. and a new mouse…and I have to go now and change my shirt .

  5. JeffC says:

    I nominate Farth for Fake earth …

  6. Andrew says:

    Vogon is a great idea. There are so many parallels with the Hitch Hikers 4 part trilogy and the AGW “debate”.

    Magrathea?
    Planet where Earth was built. the Earth is actually a supercomputer built to calculate the greatest question of all time. http://youtu.be/x2rS-ha8DbE (especially 7:00 onwards. The advice to the philosophers is brilliant)

  7. I propose “Digital Earth”

  8. Planet Warmth, maybe?

  9. kuhnkat says:

    I would suggest Vulcan or Hestia:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fictional_planets_of_the_Solar_System

    (look under counter earth)

  10. nzrobin says:

    How about ‘UN Reality’.

  11. Thanks, Bob,
    I vote for planet Gore.

  12. Rich K says:

    Just a note that the planet of the Vogons is called Vogsphere 😉

  13. Tom O says:

    May I suggest Mearth – pronounced the same as mirth? It stands for M(odeled) Earth, and is a bit funny, don’t you think?

  14. Tom O says:

    I also like that reference to SPM.8. You know, when someone sends me SPM it is usually trapped by the SPM filter on my email account. Wait! My oops. I was thinking spam, but really, isn’t stuff from the SPM only spam anyway?

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